(Always) Next to Me is a 16mm film that pairs abstract sequences of plants developed directly on the film emulsion with intertitles briefly describing what was going on for me personally at the moment the plants were collected.

I started the film at the beginning of the pandemic, just after I found out I was pregnant for the first time in April 2020 and finished it just before the birth of my baby in December of the same year.

The film is a compilation of significant and insignificant occurrences- an experiment in co-existence. As we go through our very human experiences and emotions, there is an entire surrounding ecosystem that bears witness, supports, and exists alongside [often with total indifference to] that experience.

The plants leave their image on the film, but my state of mind at the various points over the 9 months of production is also reflected in the care to layout and exposure that I exert over the material. The one rule I made for myself was that I had to use all the plants that I gathered, so some sequences are long and careless, while others are concise and delicately constructed. Stressful moments are revealed by the haphazard placement of random plants across the film strip, the times of serenity can be spotted by recurring patterns, and carefully selected leaves. A reminder that when we are not well grounded, we cause more destruction to the life around us- take more than we need.